SugarRayMcCord
by Brendalwood
Summary: My first story
1. Chapter1

Hi humans! I am new to FF platform but I used to write fics on other sites about 15 years ago. I love MSec and I own nothing; this is just for fun

...Bren

Elizabeth McCord was upset. She knew that the second her husband laid his eyes on her that there was going to be a _thing_ and she hated to worry Henry. _But this was an assault on the Secretary of State _she mused. _Maybe somebody should worry. But goddamnit. This was embarrassing and shameful and ..._ Blake interrupted her "Ma'am I have an ice pack for you."

She nodded and gratefully applied to pack to her painfully swollen face. She did not need a mirror to know that short of a Tom Cruise like latex mask, or a weeklong trip to the ends of the Earth this was going to be a _thing _in a few hours. "Ma'am your knuckles, uh, we don't have another ice pack". Blake shouldn't sound so apologetic, she thought. He was the twenty-something son she didn't know she needed. Today his presence was comforting yet intrusive. She wanted to be alone, she wanted to be with Henry, no she wanted to kill Datu Andrada.

"Ma'am I think you need to call your husband before Russell Jackson runs into him at the White House." He passed her the iPhone and she bit her lip and dialed.


	2. Chapter2

Hi everyone. Still doing short paragraphs as I learn how this works.

Brenda

_Henry. I.. something happened_

Babe where are you? Are you OK?

_I am on my plane with Blake. We, we got kicked out of the Philippines Henry. I'm sorry_

« Elizabeth please -« Henry had never heard her sound like this. Not for about 25 years at any rate.

"Babe, breathe. Talk to me sweetheart" he begged

_Henry I punched someone. In the nose. I broke their nose and now I am being sent home and it's because I'm a woman and because I wouldn't let him rape me! I said No and my dress, the one you said looked nice, the one Alison liked, I wrecked it Henry and it hurts to cry so I have to stop and please don't listen to the news Ok? _

Henry McCord steeled himself. She was sobbing and in pain and he was worried. He needed to talk to her DS or "Sweetheart can I talk to Blake for just a sec?" He heard her nod because the phone made weird staticky noises and he could hear her in the background. Then Blake.

"Dr. McCord we are returning to the US. The Secretary had a meeting with the President of the Philippines. We heard her scream and when we entered he was , umm well he was rolling on the floor holding his nose- there was a lot of blood and the Secretary was trying to get up and well - he hit her and from what she told the President and Mr Jackson it, well it appears that he grabbed her, and she punched him on instinct and he shoved her to the floor and he, he hit her Sir. A couple of times."

Henry sunk to the floor. He felt his stomach roil and he dropped the phone. Quickly he grabbed the wastebasket that was within reach and he emptied his stomach contents. Rage and fear and compassion and love and a desire to just hold Elizabeth tight, these feelings crashed into his mind simultaneously. Tears slid down his cheeks as he grabbed the phone from the floor and thickly asked Blake. "How badly is she hurt? My wife- Elizabeth, is she ...?" The young man answered "she's Elizabeth McCord so she's stifled the tears and is sitting quietly. But sir, she looks like she is going to have a blackened eye and some cuts".

"Meet me at the hospital Blake OK?" Henry spoke softly. "Roger that sir, oh and Sir, I won't leave her side until she's with you"

"Thank You Blake"

Ch 3 tomorrow


	3. Chapter3

Hi all. I love the reviews and the advice on how to publish this in order like everyone else does. It's a learning curve so I will stick to short chaps for a bit I til I get the hang of it and hopefully no more screw ups! I love MSec and writing and plan a few different stories, of all styles and about various topics. I am on Twitter and I stagram as some version of the name BrendaW or Brenda Wood 1970 and try to use the same profile pic. Your reviews make me smile and if you write- tell me how to find your stories so I can follow them!

DISCLAIMER: I am not the creator of this show and own nothing except how I choose to manipulate the characters for fun

...Bren

Jason McCord wasn't sure why his dad suddenly left the house, but Stevie soon filled him in with the little info she had. " Mom got hurt in the Philippines and it's not life threatening and Dad will fill us in once he sees her". Alison had nodded and gone back to bed, but the anarchist wasn't buying it.

"Another car accident? Or did she fall down the stairs or does it have something to do with the President of the Philippines bragging about how his opponent broke his nose but he got a TKO? Is my mom the one who got TKO'ed?"

Stevie sighed. _Jason is too smart and he's adept. Well, Mom and Dad can kill me later. Better he know and keep his mouth shut. I'll tell Ali in the morning._

"OK Jason but you stay quiet or I won't ever trust you again. You are 15 now - so yes. Dad said that this idiot tried something with mom, she decked him, and he didn't like that so he hit her a couple of times." Jason's face was now purple but to his credit he wasn't screaming. Stevie felt like she should be at the hospital but she understood why she needed to be at home. Jason wanted to hijack a plane, and go get in that dictators face. But lately when he got angry he had a new voice in his head and it sounded a lot like his dad saying that being a hot head never resulted in anything positive. Jason was coming to realize his father made sense. He would wait to see his mom and then he'd kill Andrada. You didn't hit the Secretary of State, you didn't hit women and you sure as hell did not hit his mom. He and Stevie settled on the couch to play video games. Tonight even Stevie wanted to beat the hell out of something and virtual villains would have to do.

Henry found the examination room at Walter Reed with little effort. Matt and Blake were pacing the floor. Matt could hardly look Henry in the eye. Blake however said "the doctor is in with her." Henry nodded and knocked once before entering.

His heart flew to his throat as he saw her, looking frail in a paper gown. Her beautiful face looked about how he had imagined it. She had a split lip, scratches on her cheek and her eye was puffy and badly bruised. Her arms had scratches on them, and as he held her hands he noticed broken fingernails. The knuckles on her right hand were angry and bruised and split. There was a little swelling around her nose and it was clear she had recently suffered a nosebleed. He reached up and gently lifted her chin. The doctor who had determined that her cheek wasn't broken, and that her nose and teeth were fine decided to give the couple a few minutes. "I'll be back in 5 minutes Madam Secretary." Elizabeth looked up at her, stoic ally and professionally "Thank you Doctor Sheil. And please call me Elizabeth". Nodding the doctor left the room. She was relieved that her report to the President would not indicate rape.

"Henry I am sorry I broke down on the phone. I am gonna be fine. But I am going to need a ton of foundation before I go to work tomorrow"

Henry felt a wave of pride as he heard her strength.

However he knew that was a cover to hide the deep pain she must be feeling. So he pulled over a stool and sat before he spoke. " Elizabeth Adams McCord, you aren't going to work today. It's 4 am. You may not have noticed but you have a goose egg on the back of your head and I, frankly, need about 24 hours of constant cuddling before I can even imagine letting you out of my sight."

"But Henry I am fine. I have had a concussion before and I need to repair the relationships I made a mess of yesterday .. when it all went sideways."

He stood and looked at the wall, scrubbing his face and hair with his hand. " By sideways do you mean when he disprescted you and criminally assaulted you? Because honey, he needs to be charged and jailed. You Mrs. McCord are coming home to rest for a few days"

Elizabeth started to get upset. "You can't tell me what to do!" She slipped off the bed and started to pace the floor. "You aren't in charge of my body Henry McCord!"

...


	4. Chapter4

"The President of the Philippines has issued a statement about the Secretary of State. He has accused her of assault"

Russell Jackson threw the remote across the room. He picked up the phone and barked to his assistant Adele that he needed to go to the McCord home.

Meanwhile at Monroe High Jason was at his boiling point. His mothers job was non stop stress and everything she did was news. Plus that nickname. If he heard Sugar Ray McCord one more time... they had no idea how tough his mom was. How brave. She voluntarily risked her life to serve America and to do the right thing. The idea that some insane man hit on his mom, and then punched her because she said No. Then there were his sisters. A year ago that creepy secret service dude was trying to sell naked pictures of Stevie and just a couple of weeks ago Thad Newton had crushed Alison's spirits. And what was he doing? Ruining a paint job on a car. Alison said it helped but was Thad really going to change? No way. His dad told him fighting wasn't going to solve anything but he wanted to pound something. He needed to talk to his mom. But she wasn't talking right now. He thought about ditching school but that would just upset his parents and he had grown up enough to know that they didn't need that right now. He remembered when Mom came back from Iran she had played his video game and one night she had crawled into bed and held him like when he was a little boy. Sure he rebelled, and argued with her all the time- but he loved her and he respected her and he decided maybe it was time she knew that.

...

It was a somber Henry that answered the door.He said "she's in the living room but hasn't said a word to anyone in almost 48 hours." Truth be told Henry was worn out. The mixture of worry, fear and exasperation at his inability to do anything for his wife was taking its toll. Now with this headline **everywhere** he just wanted to move to a private island and make sure his family was safe from all harm; real and from the media.

"Elizabeth- Russell is here." She glanced up and Russell winced. Her right eye looked normal but her nose looked swollen and sore, there was a deep purple ring around her left eye that had yellowed and greened onto her cheek. Her lip had was scabbed over . She nodded at him. He noticed that her knuckles were swollen and she looked, well, not so much like the firebrand that she was.

He was concerned when she turned and sat on the couch and appeared to have dismissed him. Henry guided him back to the formal living room. "She's checked out a little Russell. She was released from the hospital 2 days ago and she's mute. I don't know how to fix it."

Russell sighed. "I was hoping she would have a statement today. It's Friday and I would like the weekend to start with Bess standing up against all of this". Henry's jaw tightened." Russell she's human. She's hurt and she's withdrawn. I think she might need some time. Can't you or Conrad shut this ridiculous nonsense down? She's been through hell."

He nodded." I personally would love to give her 6 months off but this is DC. And she is the Secretary of State and - well, it's still a man's world. She's actually one of the women who's changing things for everyone, Globally. You are a lucky man McCord.". Henry was taken aback. He forgot sometimes how Russell could be so human. "I know it Russell. And right now I just want to take away her pain." The older man nodded. "Don't tell Bess but she's really grown on me. I want Andrada's head on a platter." Henry smiled grimly. "All I know is that that is up to Elizabeth. Not us." Russell clapped Henry on the back and was gone. Henry turned and saw Elizabeth standing there. She cleared her throat and said softly. "I have a lot to live up to, it seems." Henry felt a tear running down his cheek. "You do. You are my world do you know that honey?" She twisted her face a little, like she did when she tried not to cry but was unsuccessful. _Just like after Iran _he thought. "Henry, can you hold me? I think maybe we should talk" and he reached out for her as she fell into his arms.

An hour later he snuggled with her in their bed. She had wanted a bath and he had tenderly obliged. He washed her face as gently as he could and He washed her hair. She wanted his old Marine T-shirt and a pair of her old holey sweatpants from college.

He noticed that her pedicure looked a little ragged and he decided to fix that for her. Ever so gently he took off the old polish, massaged her feet and applied a bright blue he knew made her feel sassy. She smiled "Henry, I love you". He replied " I know and babe, I like you OK too". She chuckled. "I'm sorry I couldn't talk before. I, I tried - but the words wouldn't come..." "That's OK my love, I figured you would eventually. I was, hell, I am worried about you but I have been worried about you before and I will again." "I am sorry about that" she looked out the window at the setting sun. He settled next to her and said gently. " I'm listening "

She leaned in and began fiddling with the hair on his arm. " I have always had to deal with jerks. From kindergarten the world is rude to girls. What to wear, how to sit, what to play with, and all that crap about what we are allowed to do, and if a boy hits you it means he likes you" she stopped to breathe. "And the CIA. I mean Henry, if I told you half of it I would never have anything else to say" she confessed. He bristled. "Elizabeth, no". His brain was whirling. He knew some things had happened. He saw things and heard things, but he didn't always connect that it was bothersome. _Jesus I am as bad as those guys. Maybe worse. _He swallowed hard but remained quiet. "Yes Henry and I just always figured it was like mosquitoes, that- that men just are that way and a good girl knows all the right tricks. Cross your legs, be clean and pretty, flirt but back away when he goes too far. And never walk home alone. Carry pepper spray, take self defense..." she started to cry again " and then when you actually have to use your fighting skills- either you aren't strong enough to get away, and that means you have to live with it. Or, or- everyone judges you and calls you a tease and a bitch". Her voice sounded bitter just then. " Lizzie Adams has the quarterback of the football team and she knees him in the nuts". I got 2 weeks detention for that you know. I had to write lines everyday for 2 weeks. He was celebrated. The whole school said it was MY fault that he couldn't win the game and we lost the championship that year. My aunt didn't get it. Even Joey, Joey laughed it off and said that perfect Lizzie needed detention to make her more relatable." Now Elizabeth was sobbing and she automatically reached up to wipe her eyes. "OUCH god damn it". Henry too was crying. "Oh my girl. Oh my girl. I am so sorry. I wish I had been there." She got out of bed and started to pace " I know Stevie and Ali have had to deal with some of this bull. And I am powerful and yet this happened to me and part of me just wants to curl up and die because I personally feel violated and scared and embarrassed because it's worse than when I was 17. That was about a thousand kids - now Henry it's millions of people. **The President of the United States and the Godfather of our kids-**knows that I was almost raped and the results of my rape kit are in FBI custody because of what I do for my job. The FBI knows how long my pubic hair is Henry! " she was whisper screaming now. They took pictures of me because of what might have happened if I blacked out for a minute. Hell I was scared maybe I did black out and miss something". She was spent now, and she sat heavily on the chaise lounge and pulled her legs up to her chest.

Her knee hit her cheek and she hissed. Henry had no idea what to do except listen. He could relate to the fear about his daughters and his two sisters too, and his Mom and his wife. His incredible dauntless wife was trembling with emotion. He could hardly see for the tears and then it came to him. He crouched in front of her and gently lifted her chin. "Babe I can't change what happened. God knows I want to. What I can do is be with you. Listen, learn, be the man beside the woman. I can shoulder the fear and embarrassment and shame and anger - with you. I can believe you. I can support everything you do." Her blue eyes lightened as she listened to him. The stormy grey was replaced by a clear turquoise that had been missing for about 5 days. She hugged him tightly. "Thank you for hearing my voice Henry. Wow. I guess that's why I couldn't talk. Do you think that's what it was?" Henry nodded. "Our bodies process trauma very literally sometimes" Elizabeth looked thoughtful- I know I scared you, I scared myself. Are the kids afraid of me?" She asked earnestly. "Maybe a little. But we can talk about it when you are ready. They know what the media is saying, and Stevie works with Russell. Plus Alison and Jason just went through her experience with Thad Newton." He scowled. "Is it wrong that I want to take that kid and drop him off a cliff?" She shook her head. "Henry. His mother works for the state department. I'll have Nadine send them to Alaska or North Korea". Henry chuckled. "We don't have an embassy in North Korea". She chuckled. _God he missed that sound. _"I bet Thad doesn't know that" she said conspiratorially. She tried to wink and realized that she couldn't just yet. His heart melted. He leaned back and asked " Babe May I kiss you?" She nodded and he very gently touched his lips to her forehead. "You are an incredible woman Elizabeth Adams McCord, I am so very blessed that you share your life with me".

She placed her hands on his shoulders and said "do you love me enough to buy me find a vat of concealer? Because that's gonna be the cost of Jason's college fund" She got up and walked over to the vanity and sighed. "I hope purple eyeshadow is in style this month." He stood behind her and said "We'll tell Alison to blog about it. America will be using purple eyeshadow for weeks."

... almost finished. Two more chapters to go, I think. Hopefully within the next couple of days. Thank you for reading and reviewing!


	5. Chapter5

Elizabeth was up early on Saturday. Henry was still sleeping so she quietly slipped on her favourite navy house sneakers and went downstairs for coffee. She was surprised to see Jason headed outside with a basketball. "You're up early for a Saturday"

He dropped the ball and turned to her with a smile "Mom, you're talking!" She smiled and teased "I thought you might have enjoyed a silent parent?"

He came to her and hugged her. "Surprisingly I missed your nagging. But seriously Mom. I was worried about you." He held her tighter and she felt his tears soak her shoulder. "Jason, my dear sweet boy, I am here, I'm going to be OK. I promise". She breathed in the scent of his hair, his dad's shampoo and his unique teenage hormones. Breaking the tension she whispered in his ear. "I know you love me slugger. You just blew your cover." He started to laugh, and he lifted his head and wiped his eyes. "Well I guess I'm busted. Will you remember this the next time I make you mad?" She quirked her lips and ruffled his hair. "I'll remember it but I'll still bust your schemes. It's a mom thing". He grinned. "It would be weird if you let me get away with anything. I was gonna go shoot baskets but I can make you breakfast first. Make us breakfast." She must have looked startled because he added "I am 15 now. And you and dad are away a LOT. For some reason Ali won't feed me unless it's meatless and Stevie practically lives with Jareth. Survival of the fittest and all that" he moved to the kitchen and she followed. "I'm glad you can cook but I am sorry we starved you into it." He shrugged "breakfast burritos good?" She nodded and sat at the table, grabbing an apple and realizing that wasn't going to work with her sore lip. She tossed it to Jason who demolished it in three bites. He touched his upper lip. "I guess it's gonna hurt for a while huh?" She nodded. His voice grew hard, and he stirred the meat and beans savagely "nobody hits my mom, nobody. If that crazy bastard ever comes here I'll kill him." " Jason, no, you'd be in jail and I could never forgive myself if you threw your life away!" He served up the burritos and sat next to her. "Mom, have you seen your face?" " Yes honey I have and it's gonna heal. I have had a fat lip and a black eye before you know." He shook his head. "Some other despot beat you up?" He looked murderous. "You could say that. You were a pretty demanding toddler". His mouth hung open " wait, what?" She got up and poured him some chocolate milk and herself some coffee. "You were about 18 months old and you had been sick. I was cuddling you and trying to calm you down and you bucked and slammed your huge and might I add very hard head into my mouth". Jason looked mortified. She continued. "I said the F word and I saw the dentist for a chipped tooth. Your Aunt Juliet said I had bigger lips than a supermodel. And I lived on soft non acidic food for about a week." "Oh God mom I am sorry. Is that why I have this scar in my hairline?" "Nope, that's from when you decided to headbutt the coffee table when you were 2. Not gonna lie Jason, you gave me my first grey hairs."

After they finished eating they located the ball and she went out and played ball with him for a bit. It hurt but she hadn't played with her son in a long time and she could always ice her hand later, she would chance it until Henry came down and busted her for not taking care of herself. It was a warm sunny morning for early spring, and she had always loved shooting hoops.

It felt good to both of them; since she became Secretary of State playtime with her little anarchist had stalled and if one good thing could come out of this mess, be a silver lining, it could be re connecting with her little boy. Who as it turned out, was becoming a man. Jason was glad to have spent what finally felt like personal, quality time with the woman he used to think had superpowers. When they went back into the house he gave her shoulders a squeeze and he told her "Mom, I used to think you were a superhero. Now I know you are." He dropped the ball and ran up the stairs and to cover her tears of happiness she yelled " Hey, are you supposed to leave this basketball in the middle of the room?" Her voice broke a little and Henry entered the room. "Babe it's like, 8 am. Have you been shooting hoops?" She nodded. " Henry they are all grown up- our baby is a man- and a good one". Henry grabbed the orange juice and stole a kiss "he's on his way but he's not done yet. I was 15 once.- trust me. He's still our baby".

After a shower, some fresh jeans and her Harvard Law sweatshirt, Elizabeth ponytailed her wet hair; glad that her hand was more co-operative. _That was only mildly painful _she thought. She decided to text Russell and Conrad and put them out of their misery. " I'll be back to work on Monday. And I want to do a press conference Monday afternoon, after I address my staff, I am ready to talk" She also texted Blake and Nadine. She knew she had an amazing staff, and they supported her. Feeling more like her old self she headed downstairs where she was pleased to see Stevie and Alison hanging out in the family room.

"Noodle, Stevie both my girls home!" " Jason was right. She is feeling better!" Alison jumped up and hugged her tightly, Stevie joined in. "Group hugs are the best" she enthused. " Mom we came to see if you wanted to watch Cupcake Wars with us" Elizabeth was thrilled for a second and then she realized what was up. " You guys don't have to do this, let's have coffee, you are here to check up on me" she accused. "Ok mom but we were coming home today anyway" defended Stevie. I haven't fully moved in with Jareth and Ali stayed with me last night because we were watching old Monty Python DVD's and actually, well it was just the two of us and we both said that you would have loved to sit and pig out and have girls night." Elizabeth felt a little left out but she understood and was glad her girls were friends. "Maybe we can do that here soon?" she invited. "We could have popcorn and ice cream..." "And wine" added Stevie. Elizabeth smiled but then remembered-" Ali did you drink? Stevie, she's just turned 17!" Both girls blushed but then Alison got defensive " Mom, everyone drinks at my age. I never drive and I hardly ever even have any! Elizabeth was about to protest but she held her tongue. If she came down hard and was Mom Alison would go to her room and Stevie would yell and then leave. She wasn't stupid. She knew what teenagers did. But she had grounded Stevie when she was 20 for being drunk and underage. Her head started to ache and she felt overwhelmed. She stumbled to the couch and sat down. Both of her girls were right there and immediately began fussing. "Ali get her some water" ordered Stevie. As the younger girl complied Stevie started covering her mom with a blanket and she rubbed her uninjured hand. " Breathe mom. It's gonna be OK. You are safe. Here drink this." Elizabeth obeyed and the feeling subsided a little bit, but when she opened her mouth she found she couldn't speak.

... OK maybe a few more chapters. I have a few ideas.. Bren.


	6. Chapter6

Henry heard the commotion inside and came in from the yard. "Elizabeth, honey- Stevie what happened?" The girls explained and Jason entered the room just in time to overhear. "Great going dorks! You broke mom!" The kids started arguing and Elizabeth started to make a funny moaning noise. Henry whistled as loud as he could "Stop it!"

Silently everyone turned their attention to Elizabeth.

Her body trembled and her openend mouth was trying to scream. Her eyes were wild. Henry tried to soothe her. "You are safe Elizabeth Adams McCord. You are home. You are not in the Philippines, you are not in Iran. No one is going to harm you. You are loved and cherished here. Do you see me? It's Henry. Your husband." He repeated himself and the kids watched silently, starting to understand how PTSD worked and how much love there was between their parents. The fear left Elizabeth's eyes and she began to respond to Henry's voice. "I am home with you Henry?" She croaked. "You bet" he said and he pulled her into his arms. He thought to himself _we are going to get you through this my love. _The kids looked shell shocked. Henry motioned for them to go upstairs and for once they simply complied. Henry held Elizabeth and comforted her until she fell asleep. Gently he removed her shoes and covered her with the blanket. He tiptoed upstairs and located the kids. "Come down to the living room - quietly." He ordered.

"Dad, what's wrong with Mom?" Alison had tears streaming down her cheeks. He sighed, "Mom has been under a lot of stress the last 3 years. She's been through a few hellish experiences, Iran, and now this assault. When a brain is subjected to too much stimulation of the horrific kind- it can shut down, and it can freak out. Mom goes back to those situations and to her it feels real. She's back on the floor with a dead agent on top of her and a house full of gunshots and fire. She's back in Iraq as a CIA agent with bombs going off and the fear that she's about to be kidnapped and thrown in a hole and never coming home to us. Now, the newest trigger is the memory of what happened last week"

Jason slumped down on the floor. "I hate her jobs. Why couldn't she just teach all the time?" Alison nodded. "Mom should retire" and from

Stevie. "Dad if this job is making her sick maybe she should quit. I get wanting to serve your country but she's done so much for America already. We are all so proud of her. I don't want her to get killed doing this job!" Henry nodded. "I see both sides guys. I do. She's my wife and it's always hard to watch her bravely leave this house time after time and never know if she's coming back. But somebody has to do this job. I was a marine. I was in danger. And lately, well, lately I have done some work for the government and I have been in some scary situations. Your mom has been very worried about me the last few years. It's not something I can go I to any details about but you all have the idea I work in Intelligence sometimes."

Jason scowled " so both of you can get killed? I hardly see how that's fair! What happens to us? We go live with Uncle Will or maybe Aunt Maureen?" Alison looked a little shell shocked while Stevie nodded like this was old news. Henry stood up "I think for me- the action is over so I will honestly say I understand why you are angry Jason. I don't blame you. Just know that it wasn't intended that I go into dangerous situations- they do sort of creep up on a person. Your mother and I have never had typical work, we have never been 9 to 5-ers in an office. But this family is our priority now and always has been. That's why we serve. I am going to go check on mom- she's the woman of my dreams and she's hurting and I'll be damned if she feels like this burden is hers to carry all alone."

Stevie spoke "Dad, I can move back in here full time for a while- Jareth will be OK with it. I'll help co-ordinate things with these two and help around the house." Noodle chimed in "Mom grounded Stevie for 2 weeks for drinking underage so I guess I can deal with that and not be sulky about it." Henry hugged her. "Alison I didn't catch that but I'll come up to your room later and we can have a conversation" His hazel eyes met her chocolate ones and he nodded at her. Jason sighed and let his dad give him a quick hug. " I want my mom to be OK so I'll be a team player for now- but we have to talk about this more dad!"

Henry nodded and met Stevie's gaze. "Dad, I am 21, I work with Russell Jackson and I am engaged. Ok I am not 40 but seriously. I've got these two and I won't give anyone any alcohol and I can manage for tonight. Let's go children." To their credit neither teen said a word and Henry hurried back to his wife.

He watched her sleep for about 30 minutes and he reminisced about their life together- memories and regrets co mingling; as well as reflections about how much growing they had done together. She had been 18 and he 24 when they met. Now they were both over 50- he more so than she.

Today in the dappled sun, watching her stir, he saw a young woman, and their children within her features. She stole his breath, even with that painful looking eye. As a man, a marine, he had been punched. In fact sometimes he was the one to deliver the blows, but to a woman- old fashioned or not, Henry McCord was against that. He admired her instincts though, to fight back. He worried that her beautiful husky voice couldn't be trusted right now and he knew that she was scared.

Her eyes opened startled, and she pushed herself up far too quickly. She opened her mouth but no sound was forthcoming. He tenderly brushed her hair off her face and said "Shh Elizabeth. It's OK. Your voice will be back. You just had a nap. I talked to the kids and the house is calm again. Her eyes clouded with tears and he gently helped her sit up. "Babe this is just your PTSD rearing it's head. You clawed your way out after Iran, and you'll do it again. It doesn't have a timetable." She shook her head and motioned for her phone, where she texted him about Monday's press conference. He sighed. "Mrs. McCord you sure like to push yourself. Don't blame those hard headed kids of ours on me! Remember Iran and how you went back to work the next day?" Sheepishly, she nodded. "I will help you figure this out later but right now you and I need some lunch. I was thinking grilled cheese, and ice cream?" Her stormy look lightened with interest. He noticed that her ponytail was completely askew and tendrils has fallen everywhere. He laughed and told her "I think I better fix that for you. I see your hand is more inflamed today. I know you did your hair, and before that you washed it, and before that you played basketball beyond the point where you should have stopped." She used her left hand to pull out the hair tie and Henry laid it on the coffee table. He ran his fingers through her still damp hair.

"Lunch or a blow dry Madam Secretary?" "Both" she croaked, and he smiled at her. He helped her up and hugged her with all the love he felt for her in his arms. Elizabeth felt a jolt of peace. He lead her upstairs where he sat her at her vanity and gently took a few minutes and dried, then brushed her hair.

She smiled "Thank you Henry." "Anything for you my love." She spoke softly "I think I should go back to Dr. Sherman, and I think I want to make love to you right now but I am afraid I'll chicken out and that I'll frustrate you...". He cupped her chin. "If you want to make love, babe, I am never going to say No to you, but it's OK if you change your mind. You are not a tease, or a bitch or asking for anything more than a chance to try. I will survive and please know that is true of all men. Hormones don't control my brain beyond my humanity. Maybe I go to the bathroom, or I pull out and we change the sheets. Beyond today, if it becomes a big problem, we'll talk about it and look for help. I will never judge you or force you. That's not loving or respectful. A groan in the moment is just that. I am a human and sometimes I am very, very horny. You are my beautiful wife and you are very sexy to me." She smiled, but then turned and sat back on the vanity bench, arms crossed "Am I Madam Sexytary? I try to dress modestly and professionally but I am a geek, and sometimes I want to look good..." she trailed off. He countered. "To me, you are sexy when you are dressed up, when you are in jeans, when you are in a Frampton T-shirt or butt naked. That's for me because we vowed that it was. When I dress up or wear those jeans you like or I am naked- or wearing my glasses- you think I am sexy and that I am yours. But you never hurt me."Her forehead wrinkled as she processed his words. "I know you like the looks of other guys - just like I like the looks of other women. But baby, that's just appreciation of something that looks nice. I mean Elizabeth, the way you look chocolate should be a felony, but that's OK; and I know you used to think that X files actor was hot, and yet- did you assault him?" He face smoothed a little. "No. I did not". He went on "I think Pamela Anderson looks gorgeous but I also think that is just a little physical attraction. There is no choice for me because you are my wife and my hero and she is someone else's wife and hero. I think a lot of people are beautiful or have nice taste in clothes or smell good, but I am not with them and there is no desire to do anymore than glance, appreciate the moment and move on" he was firm.

"So I didn't give Andrada, or Ray Merchant or the guy in high school the sign to touch me?" "No sweetheart, and you are missing my point. Even if you did flirt, or look nice or smell nice or even if you engaged in sex and then you said stop, or indicated that with your body.." "Henry I said no! I always said No"she said as she began sobbing with relief."Henry I said No, I said Stop!" Henry found his eyes were streaming like a fountain as he knelt in front of her. "Exactly my dear! That's the only thing that matters! And if ever you passed out or were intoxicated or drugged and couldn't say Yes in the first place, that's also a hard clear No!"

She fell against him and they sat on the floor and leaned against the bed and cried until they were hoarse. Henry simply held her and felt her go limp after what felt like hours. She was sweaty, her eyes were wet, and her bruise was puffy and sore but Henry knew she felt _better._ Truth be told he was sweaty, had a headache and he knew his face would be red and puffy too. "Elizabeth?" he smoothed her hair. She smiled up at him "Henry my throat hurts." "Mine too" he admitted. "Can I tell you something?" She nodded and he took a deep breath "You are everything to me. You make me proud every single day. You take everything on those shoulders of yours and you don't quit. You rest sometimes for a minute, but you are tenacious about doing the right thing. You were fierce when I met you, and you are the most dignified and intelligent Secretary of State this country has had in a very long time. If I was just plain old single Henry McCord living in Maureen's basement, I would vote for you. You are brave, you are big hearted and you captured my heart 30 odd years ago. I worry about you and I get really scared when you go missing, or you get caught up in all these crazy situations. But I know there is no one better to do this job. So you go do this job and I will support you. I think you could be President someday babe. And I am not going to be the one to take out Andrada honey. You are more than capable."

Elizabeth's heart nearly stopped. He husband meant every single world. She felt warm inside. She was touched to her core and she was determined to keep on making him proud of her. But _President? POTUS? Her? _

She countered with a little deflection. "OK seriously that was about 15 things Professor. A girl could get a personality disorder with all that praise"

"A girl could, but a woman with a purpose can handle everything I just said."

Blushing furiously she looked him straight in the eye "With support like that no woman could go wrong. I will take that challenge Henry. I will get up every day and do better than my best. For you and the kids, because you are my everything and I want you to make me a promise." He stood up and helped her steady herself. "What is it?" She grinned as she headed for the door of their room

"Never, ever live in Maureen's basement. If I die before you you have to promise to live in Stevie's basement. Or Jason's basement" she begged

"Jason is going to be living in our basement and why doesn't Ali get a basement?" He countered

"Alison is going to be living in hotels and condos in Europe" she could play this game

"Why can't I just live in my own basement?" Henry protested. "Because if I am President and I drop dead you'll all get kicked out of the White House and you'll be homeless" was her reasoning.

"OK but why can't I buy a house or something?" He followed her down to the kitchen where she sat at the table. " You could do that I suppose" she accepted, but first you promised me ice cream and grilled cheese."

He laughed as he went to the freezer. "Shouldn't that be a sandwich first Mrs. McCord?"

"Make it an ice cream sandwich Professor and we'll kill two birds with one stone"

... ch 7 this weekend. Brenda.


	7. Chapter7

The McCord family spent Saturday evening playing board games and card games until about 10 pm. Then the kids decided to watch a vampire movie and Henry and Elizabeth went up to bed. They were both exhausted after such an emotional day, and she simply wanted to sleep in his arms.

At 6 am Sunday morning she awoke, feeling refreshed and determined. She showered quickly, pulled on some dark jeans, heels and a classic shirt. Examining her face she decided to forego makeup and instead opted for large sunglasses and a floppy hat. She left a note for Henry, and then texted Conrad she wanted to have breakfast with him, Russell, and Nadine. As soon as she had his agreement she contacted Nadine and headed to the office.

She was only mildly surprised to find Blake there, organizing files, but it was a good opportunity to talk to him and she took it. "Blake I want to say Thank You to you. You helped me get away from Andrada, you were comforting on the plane and you made sure I spoke to Henry even when I wasn't sure that I could do so." His eyes were kind but worried "Ma'am it's what any decent person would have done. I, well, I heard the scuffle and your DS agent had been communicating with his supervisor. Ironically, they were discussing how to up your security on these small detail trips." Elizabeth smiled "that's usually how life goes, and no one could have anticipated that he would attack a world leader with her assistant and security just outside the door." Blake looked sad. "Ma'am I have been worried about you. You are a very important person in my life and no one has the right to do that to you!" Elizabeth nodded "you are right Blake, and it's taken me a few days to figure that out. I am still working on it and I will warn you, sometimes I have PTSD flashbacks and I lose my ability to speak." Blake looked horrified. "Have you seen the doctor!" She smiled "Right after I have breakfast with the President." Placated, Blake ventured, "would you like me to order you some makeup to cover up your bruises?" She turned back towards him "Actually I have decided against that. This is how my face looks right now, and I am not hiding that after today.

Blake smiled at her. "You are pretty brave Ma'am." My mother won't leave the house without makeup on a good day. Elizabeth shook her head, she barked a self deprecating laugh "I am not that brave Blake. I am here because my husband inspired me not to give up and going home and doing nothing will disappoint him and the idea of that is worse than dealing with the fallout from this. I am not wearing makeup because my face hurts too much to put it on. So actually I am the opposite of brave. I am a wimp. I left everyone and everything hanging for the better part of a week and I may very well go mute again in a minute. I do that now Blake. I lose my ability to speak. I cry a lot. And on my way here today I damn near made Matt drive me to the bus station so I could run away from home. I chickened out on that too. Matt would tell the President and Henry and the two people left on this Earth I want to be proud of me would know I am just a scared little girl. A scared little girl with a great big job Blake. And so that's why I am here. I am going to fix this un- fixable mess and I am going to eat my feelings and I am going to trust that you won't rat me out." Blake had tears running down his cheeks and he pulled out his pocket square and tried to erase them. "Elizabeth McCord you quite literally are the bravest person I have ever met!" She let her jaw drop at both the use of her name and the vehemence of his voice. From the front door came a deeply melodic agreement. "I'll live to regret this phrase but Blake is right Ma'am" Nadine was brisk. " Now Madam Secretary we need to get you over to to White House." Elizabeth nodded, and stood, wiping her damp palms on her jeans. She gave Blake a bone crunching hug and then did the same to Nadine. He handed Elizabeth a muffin. "To eat your feelings on the way to breakfast." Her eyes crinkled in pleasure. "Blake you have to work for me forever. You know way too much about me and my family to be trusted to work for anyone else. Same to you Nadine. You'll have to retire when I get fired." She began picking away at the muffin on her walk to the elevator.

When she was out of earshot Nadine said to Blake "when she first came here, I thought she was all wrong for the job. But Blake, that woman is changing the world. She grows on you." Blake nodded, "I was in one of her classes once, back at UVA, she's an original." Nadine sat down on the couch in Msec's office. "Blake, I am not a praying woman. She looks tough, but she's rattled. I want her to get through this - but I have a niggling fear."

Blake looked thoughtful "I am worried. But we have to support her."

In the car Elizabeth checked her phone. There was a text from Henry._ I missed you this morning. Are you ok at the office? You can call, text or come home, or I can meet you. I love you. I am making lasagne with garlic bread and a caesars salad for supper today. So just know we'll be here with all this chef Henri cuisine xox". _She smiled, with all this support she had to do this. She texted him back _that dinner sounds amazing my love. I am headed to see Conrad now. Xox _

Taking a deep breath she sent a text to Dr. Sherman, asking for a same day appointment. Luckily Kinsey was in her office doing some research and she agreed. Finally, she called Will. Getting his voicemail she felt a little guilty about how relieved she was not to have to get into all the details just yet. She simply said that she needed to talk to him at some point in the next 24 hours, and that it was important. _If you don't call back don't be mad that I'm going to give a personal press conference tomorrow. _

Needing a breather after all that activity, she settled back to enjoy the scenery for the last 10 minutes of the drive.

...

Conrad greeted his friend with a handshake but he noticed her injured face. He wondered why she hadn't covered it up a bit, but he didn't want to ask. Russell on the other hand had the manners of a bulldozer and said "Christ Bess, don't they have a Walgreens in Georgetown. You're too pretty to let people see you looking like that."

Conrad gave his Chief of Staff a look of utter disgust. "Ok sorry" he relented. " I know I am an old dinosaur but if I am thinking it- a lot of people will be thinking it. Optics" he scrubbed his scalp with his hand. Elizabeth's immediate reaction was to scream but she instead swallowed that and the insecurity that bloomed in her chest. _Please don't go silent now _she commanded herself. "Russell, why should I cover this up? This is what was done to me." He countered "Because you broke his nose first." "Russell he grabbed my ass and was ready to do more!" "You knew he was an idiot before you went there! Remember we warned you!" Elizabeth snorted "My job is not about my sex, or how I look. My job is to negotiate diplomacy. Who gropes you Russell?" She paced the room like a tiger. She felt very warm and very cold all at the same time. "Why do you expect me to flirt and charm and then come back here after I protect myself and then shame me? I refuse to be shamed. I was assaulted. He didn't use his words, Andrada didn't threaten you. He threatened me! He then didn't like my response so he tried to overpower me." She went over to the window and looked out at the terrace. Her vision grew cloudy and she steeled against the tears. _Not now _she begged herself. She bit her tongue hard.

Conrad mercifully shut Russell down. "Elizabeth is right, no matter what the optics of the dinosaurs in the world, she shouldn't have to worry about being physically or sexually assaulted. We need to do better, not just for Bess, but for the women of this world." He watched her shoulders relax. He respected this woman; had since he met her at the CIA. She was whip smart, sharp, funny, clumsy and gangly, a very hard worker and she never gave up. She had only said no the Baghdad job. He suspected, hell he _knew_ Henry would have an issue with it. Could he have ever lived with knowing his Lydia was off to Iraq and leaving a very young Harrison? He knew why Bess left the CIA and he knew why she took the Secretary role. He rather liked being a fatherly role model for her. He knew she missed her own father. He had liked Benjamin Adams. But he hated that Bess was in danger so much now, as MSec. He also knew Russell had developed a deep admiration for her. When Russell worried he could be nasty. Elizabeth was still adjusting to that.

"Elizabeth, tell us what you need. We will back you 100 per cent. Teach the dinosaurs how to behave. I asked you to be Secretary and sometimes you say things that I don't want to hear. You've been in my head for a long time, 25 years at least, and you challenge me no matter how much you know I am going to blast you for it. So let's eat and make a plan for tomorrow."

Elizabeth was exhausted and overstimulated by 11 am when she arrived at Dr. Sherman's office. She was now avoiding Henry's texts because she didn't want to worry him. She knew that would upset him but she hoped by groveling a little when she did reply, that he would forgive her. If he was upset she would handle the scolding. After Russell she was convinced she could be scorched by Dragon fire and be fine with it. She needed a good cry and to run through how to deal with panic and PTSD because it was not going to keep her down. Iran had been brutal. The number of times her husband had nearly died over the last two years, she had knuckled through that. And now Andrada and what she was about to do tomorrow. It was a good thing that Kinsey could take her today. Even some things were too big for Henry, too big for her.

Elizabeth talked for about 90 minutes, once she started it was verbal diarrhea and Kinsey Sherman knew she was being entrusted with some big revelations. She felt proud that this strong, stubborn patient of hers finally understood the value of talk therapy and was comfortable enough to confess her vulnerability.

After counselling Elizabeth reached out to Daisy and Matt. She needed their help and she knew she could trust them. Their only crime was being young. For once Daisy did not mention the words Hero or Optics and Matt swore to start with the third draft. It was about 4pm and Madam Secretary wanted to go home.

Henry, true to form, greeted her with a huge hug and then he surprised her. "Babe when you were gone this morning I was thisclose to coming after you and dragging you home. And then I realized that you have been getting better at asking for help. So no lecture tonight. I won't lie, I would love to know exactly what you did today and with whom, and why. But you look tired and hungry so just promise me that you are home for the night?" his hazel eyes took in her untucked shirt, the mussed up hair, her dry hands and her chipped toenail polish. "Thank you Henry" she breathed. "Do I smell garlic bread?"

He insisted she wash her hands and then he fed her. She had two glasses of wine and she ate until she couldn't bear the button on her jeans. He noticed how quiet she was as she took in Alison's complaints of being grounded, Jason's animated tales of a girl named Piper and Stevie's newest tips on how to be more responsible about recycling and why they should all go vegan.

By 630 pm the kids had kicked their parents out of the kitchen. Stevie had a brief to read for Russell. Jason swore he had studied and had to go to Piper's to help her with her geometry. Alison wanted to watch a movie and Elizabeth felt like a normal mom herding her kids into the evening routine. Henry lead his wife upstairs and into a bath. He had commissioned Alison to come find her mother in an hour and offer to give her a pedicure. This perked Alison up - she enjoyed making her mother over in the name of style and he guessed Elizabeth would enjoy some bonding time.

For now though, she was all his. He gave her phone a look, daring it to ring and stress her out. She had taken emergency medical leave for five days and technically that had ended this morning, but he knew she had a big day on Monday, and he could see by her face, that today had not been just a "go in and get ready for the week, brunch with Conrad " like her note had indicated.

He had showered before dinner so he simply readied a bath for her. As he helped her into the tub he took time to appreciate her beautiful body. "Babe you are a sight for sore eyes." He worshipped every inch of her and she felt cherished. "Professor, one thing I regret about this week is that I have been lost and have not had time to take care of you. Thank you for being my Henry." He could sense that somehow his wife had been reunited with her soul; and he Thanked God for that. "Babe if you want, next weekend I can arrange to be neediest, most time consuming man you have ever met." She laughed and he felt it in his toes. "Just swear that you don't get a cold because 24 hours of man cold and I will leave you at home with Alison as your nurse" she threatened. Smiling, Henry said " And where would you go?" _Oh boy that was the wrong thing to say _he thought as her face fell a bit. " I have a confession Henry, today I almost ran away. Like a little kid. I was going to go to the farm and just disappear for a while" she looked down in shame. He swallowed and breathed heavily for a few seconds. "You haven't bolted away from me in a long time. Am I putting pressure on you?" She nodded, "a bit. Because you love me and because you're proud of me." Henry sat back on his heels and knitted his brow "I'm listening but I am a little lost sweetheart." She ducked completely under the water and came back up, paying a lot of attention to a dirty spot on her left arm. "Henry I feel like sometimes if I were to quit, or to react the wrong way, or be sick for too long, th-then you might reconsider how you see me. I very much want your approval, your love, your pride in me. But Kinsey helped me figure out that I need to feel that way about myself first. See I have my parents and you and Conrad and Will in my head. And I want to be smart, confident and wise. But sometimes I feel like that 10 year old who got overwhelmed by life and just hitched a ride to the bus station and bought a bus ticket to Virgina Beach." He took this in, nodded, and reached for the shampoo bottle. She leaned into him as he massaged her head with lather. "Elizabeth, what I am hearing is that you went to Dr. Sherman on your own, on a Sunday." She interrupted "you don't want to know how much that session cost today. I'll need a side job to pay that bill". He smiled "I think we can figure it out babe, because that's huge progress for you. Besides it's too cold at the beach just yet and I would miss you." She giggled "the thought of Matt and Ted ratting me out to you and POTUS for trying to run away coupled with the memory of what my parents had to say when they found me - let's just say I chose to face my demons today. I didn't text you or call you because I couldn't deal with you worrying -" he interrupted "even though by avoiding me all day lead to me worrying?" She met his gaze "Yeah. Busted." He had her duck under the water to rinse her hair and then he helped her out of the bath and into her fluffy white robe and her favourite slippers. "So what's my punishment Professor?" she questioned. He sighed. "You are grounded for life Mrs. McCord.You have to stay where I can see you and hold you and make sure you're safe." He massaged her shoulders, and kissed her neck. "And you have to talk to me about your feelings and fears even if it's awkward." She turned and touched the side of his face "I held my own with Russell Jackson today and he was a colossal jerk and I thought I was going to go mute but I didn't. I thought about punching him in the nose but I decided I have had enough of that to last for a while. Plus how can I ever look Jason in the face and explain that punching people is not how McCord's get through life." Henry took her hand off of his face and peppered it with kisses. "Lady McCord how noble of you" he observed. "How bad was Russell?" Her face darkened, and Henry lead her to the bed. She huffed. "I have a lot of educating to do Henry. Russell is like a lot of men, and a lot of women. Hung up on how women are asking for it when we go meet with these despots. How if a woman wears a belly shirt or gets drunk she should know better. Hell Henry, I myself have been a bit like that and who knows what I have taught my daughters. I met with Daisy and Matt to develop a speech about just that. How we all need to grow, and learn and not beat ourselves up about the past but move toward the future." Her eyes were full of passion now and Henry said "That's why I am proud of you honey. Your eyes are full of fire. Less than a week ago you were in danger and tomorrow you want to change the world. I married a champion". She blushed but accepted his praise. "Maybe I have made some progress this week" she acquiesced.

A knock at the door signaled the arrival of her stylist. "Mom, I want to pick out your outfit for tomorrow and give you a pedicure if that's OK?" Elizabeth welcomed her daughter with enthusiasm "Noodle that sounds perfect, but I just did my toes- oh shit, well I don't remember when and yeah - they look terrible." Henry hopped up. "I am going to make sure Jason has a ride home and make some lunches for us for tomorrow. Leftover lasagna Noodle?" "Yes please Dad, but didn't we eat it all at supper?" He grinned "Chef Dad made extras and hid them." He kissed his fingers to his lips and flourished them, leaving Alison and Elizabeth chattering. He bumped into Stevie in the hallway, looking a little left out. "The party is in there honey" he kissed her on the forehead. She smiled and within a few seconds he heard his wife exclaim "Stevie, now it's perfect, my two girls!" He smiled to himself. For now, in this moment all was well at the McCord house.

... ch 8 should wrap things up next weekend.


	8. Chapter8

OK also I realize their have been a few errors over the course of this tale. I have E getting two life changing pedicures in 2 days. The one in Ch 7 was meant to be a manicure so let's pretend that happened. Also trying to proofread and leave time to settle a chapter so I can ensure grammar etc is good means you readers would wait days. Finally, the first chapters were very short as I was afraid the app would eat my writing. I am now only 90 percent unsure of how to save, publish etc. I think my new stories will be written a couple of chapters ahead of publication so I can remedy the problems stated.

But to be brave I decided to just try this and see how it went. Learn by doing etc.

There is one more chapter to come by next weekend. As usual, I do not own any of these Msec ideas, I am simply a fan writing for fun.

Brenda

...

At 10 pm Elizabeth and Henry fell into bed. She felt exhausted but also had no idea how she was going to get any sleep. Henry was a little wound up himself, wondering how his wife was feeling. He rubbed her arm. "Babe, are you Okay?" She let out a huff of air and then shakily, "I am not sure. I know tomorrow will be a big day. I am as prepared as I can be. But my mind is whirling. It's been an intense week Henry. Last Sunday night I was packing for the Philippines and none of this had happened. Tomorrow I go on TV with a black eye and the fate of women's rights, my job, US foreign policy with the Filipino people and by extension China. I become part of the 'he said, she said' story and that never works out for 'she said', and I am worried that you and the kids will be disappointed in me."

Henry felt his heart constrict "I wish I could bear this for you, and it kills me that I can't. Seeing that mark on your face. Knowing what happened to you and hearing your voice on the phone that night. Babe, I couldn't keep you safe. So no matter what happens tomorrow let's get one thing clear. If you get up in the morning and want to quit and take the bus to Virgina Beach, well I'll go with you. We've got some savings and I won't be disappointed. But I know you will be- so you are going to face the day Mrs. McCord and do your best. Tomorrow night before bed we'll have popcorn and ice cream and the good scotch. And I will hold you all night. That's a promise."

Elizabeth smiled at him. "Can you hold me now?"

He cuddled her close and whispered in her ear until she giggled. Mercifully she fell asleep.

Monday morning dawned sunny and warm. Elizabeth left for the office at 6:45 am. She admired her nicely manicured hands, in a delicate pink. Classic and strong. Her rings had been cleaned and she took comfort in them, knowing that Henry meant ever word from his proposal to her with the discount skywriter, to the wedding vows and the nearly 30 years of 'I love you's'. She was wearing a necklace her kids had given her for Mother's Day a long time ago. It reminded her that despite the skirmishes and challenges- Stephanie, Alison and Jason adored her. She was wearing the simple gold hoop earrings given to her on her 15th birthday by her parents. She recalled how her father had grinned at her, telling her she was his beautiful young woman and how her mother had gently placed them in her ears, and how Will had gagged and said that he definitely did not want jewellery when he turned 13 in a few months.

As if on cue her phone rang. "Lizzie, I got your message, I haven't been near a secure line in a few days. What did you need to talk about?" Sighing, she filled in the events of the past week, and how she knew he probably hadn't seen any major news stories or newspapers. She could feel his anger through the phone, shaky satellite connection and all. "Lizzie, you should have called me the day you got home! Or Henry should have."

"Will please don't start" she begged as a tear fell down her cheek. " I am headed for a pretty tough day and I just wanted to have you on my side."

"Lizzie I am on your side. I'm just pissed that I am hearing about this a day late and a dollar short. I know I am far away and I don't get messages right away. I'm frustrated with that too." He sighed and ran his sweaty hand through his dirty hair. "Are you sure you're OK?" she could hear the concern and found it comforting. "Remember that time you and Pete Johnson were trying to teach me how to catch a baseball?" Will laughed "Oh boy that's gotta hurt. But it was funny. You stood there and watched the ball land on your face." She groaned "I was 11 and in love with Pete and had no desire to learn about baseball. As soon as that ball hit me the crush was over!"

Will taunted "don't criticize the all- American game sis. It's those bad thoughts that caused you to freeze and miss the ball!"

"Uh uh- I was dazzled by Pete and the sun in my face. It rained later that day and Pete thought I was an idiot for missing that catch. If I recall correctly you and Dad thought it was hilarious. Only Mom cared enough to tend to tend to me! Oh and it's McCord mister".

"I told Henry you would always be Lizzie Adams to me. He gets it." Will was enjoying their banter. He needed to get back to civilization and see his family again. _And shower and sleep and catch up on the rest of the world.How do I not know what the hell happened to my sister? _

As though she could read his thoughts she said "When can you come visit? We miss you and Sophie and Annie? And where else can I buy this kind of teasing? How can I be egotistical when I know these stories about me are floating in the ether?"

Will's voice was strong as he said "How does June grab you? I am headed to England to see them end of May and we were talking about coming to trash your fancy house and maybe go camping? Do your kids know all of these stories Lizzie?"

Elizabeth was now grinning "include some fly fishing in there and you've got a deal! Yes I just gave you permission to embarrass the crap out of me. Book a flight before I change my mind." Will was quiet for a minute and she thought the connection was lost. But then his voice came through clear and strong "Elizabeth I am so sorry that you were assaulted. Decent men don't do that. I am a jerk but that is never something I would do to anyone. You are my sister and only I get to give you a black eye - you make sure those despots know that. You are a pretty good sister - even if that means you're a girl!"

The old taunt brought a tear of joy to both of their eyes, separated by thousands of miles. "You get them today in your press conference OK?. I am going to grab a camp shower and a nap and then see if I can get a WiFi connection here. I'll call you tomorrow. And don't wear black on camera. It makes you look old"

_Dammit how did he know exactly what Alison said last night when she picked out my outfit? _She picked at her skirt and admonished "You stay safe" and he said the same. As she hung up she realized they had parked at State and she was now about 15 minutes late.

Blake would be apoplectic. _I am loved _she thought. _I am valued by so many people. I can do this today. Even if I screw up, my family and friends love me. _

_Good God I used to be 11 and had a crush on a guy named Pete. I didn't always know Henry and I certainly never could have imagined that I would be Secretary of State. Lizzie Adams your life has been surreal. _Yup. She could get this done today. _Mom and Dad I hope I make you proud. I miss you so much. I wish you knew me now. I wish you knew my family. I wish you could help me today like you_

_did when Sam Wilson felt me up at Lucy TaIbot's party. I punched him too.I punch people. I **am **Sugar Ray McCord. No wonder Jason punched that kid. I punch people and I torture people and I get good men killed.._

Feeling jelly legged and overwhelmed yet again,when the elevator stopped on the 5th floor she exited with a few other people. As soon as she realized her mistake she turned around but the elevator had moved on. Because she was wearing the big sunglasses and floppy hat no one had noticed her. She felt exposed and she acted before she realized what she was doing. Her old CIA training told her to hide; so she quickly located an area that seemed unused and she ducked under an old cubicle desk. She tucked her legs in tight and tried to still her breathing. The desk had a filing cabinet that jutted out a little and Elizabeth wedges herself in behind that. She could wait there. She'd done this before. In Iraq and again in Iran when she was hauled out from under Fred Cole's body.

On the 7th floor the door opened and all Blake Moran saw was a scarf that he knew belonged to MSec. He activated the lockdown protocol and called Dr. Henry McCord

...

"We've lost the Secretary". _When I find her I am going to hug her and then I am going to strangle her_ _and then I am going to lock her in a tower and ... no I will hug her and hold her and cry with relief. _If he never again heard that his wife was lost, missing, or in danger, it would be welcomed. He briefly entertained the idea that if he hadn't issued the ultimatum about Baghdad that she would have come home, retired and they would both still be teaching at UVA. Conrad wouldn't have felt like giving her a second chance and she wouldn't have felt like she still owed America. _Who am_

_I kidding? She would have gone to Baghdad, been in the line of fire and then still would have taken on the Secretary Position. I love her because she is who she is. But could she stay out of trouble for a little while? _ He looked as his phone. It was Stevie. He answered and told he he would call her in half an hour or when they found Mom. Because Mom had to still be in that bloody building. The kids were essentially on lockdown in their home and they were scared. They only knew about some of their Mother's heroics and adventures. Stevie was sometimes now read in. Alison knew about Iran but had not ever asked for details and likely didn't remember everything about those lonely weekends when Mom couldn't call home, and when she couldn't come home and no one knew how he had worried and prayed and sought comfort in Aquinas and all the other religious scholars he respected. He saw pieces of her in each of their children. He knew he had put her through hell while he was deployed and there were about 4 days where his whereabouts had been completely unknown. They had given him leave after that and Elizabeth had been tight with fear for the first 2 weeks he had been home. _Team McCord needs a new hobby _he decided. _Taking turns scaring the shit out of one another was really getting old_. He sighed. Ten minutes to get to the state department and wherever she was - Elizabeth was not able to answer her phone.

Elizabeth started awake and quickly realized she was in trouble. _I passed out, where the hell am I? _ She started to move around a little and she felt a buzzing against her leg. A phone! But she wasn't able to answer it because she was under this desk and then it went dark when she tried to send a text. _Shit. I need to get hold of Henry. _She wasn't sure what time it was and she wasn't sure if it was safe to come out. She shook her head and slowly recalled details of her situation. _You Lizzie are hiding on the floor under the desk in the outfit Alison chose for you. You are an idiot. If Henry doesn't kill you and Matt doesn't kill you then Blake is going to do it. Yes she ginned inwardly. Blake would be the perfect killer. He would choke her with his hands and then wipe his fingers on a pocket square. _That image made her chortle and she became aware of soft crying noises. She felt her face and winced as she poked her sore cheek. _Nope I am not completely insane. I am not crying. _She sighed, and came out from I set the desk. She stood shakily in the dimly lit cubicle and she heard what sounded like Stevie sobbing. Covertly she rounded the corner and spied a young woman dressed like an older woman leaning into an old bookshelf. The woman was frizzy haired and shaking. Sensible skirt, sensible shoes and smelling of lavender "Hey" she said softly, completely forgetting her own situation for a moment "Hi, my name is Elizabeth, can I help you?" The younger woman jumped and Elizabeth saw large glasses, a matronly blouse and skirt set - all in brown and she heard a sweet voice.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone was here. I am new here, and sometimes when I get overwhelmed I come here and cry a bit. I'm Nina. Cummings. I just started here before Christmas and some of my co workers can be rude and condescending and I can't lose this job but I don't like being yelled at. There's this guy. He's older, really short, he gets so mad...

Elizabeth grinned "is his name Mr. Jackson?" "Yeah how did you know... Oh My God Elizabeth! I mean you're the Secretary of State! I mean you're missing. We are on lockdown because you are kidnapped or something. Are you OK? Is there a killer here? Or a kidnapper or a bad guy? Madam Secretary what happened to your face? Did the kidnapper hurt you?" Nina had to breathe and for that Elizabeth was grateful. She was dizzy and uncertain if it was the stuffy air, passing out under a desk for what felt like 3 days or Miss Cummings buzzing like a nervous bee. "Ok Nina? Can we sit for a second because that was a lot of information. These cubbies have chairs right?" Elizabeth quickly pulled two chairs together and the two women sat. "Yes I am Elizabeth McCord. Yes Russell Jackson is a pitbull but he can't actually bite anyone here, even though he thinks we serve at his pleasure. No there is no kidnapper or bad guy. Not that I know of. I got off the elevator on this floor by accident and had a... personal issue. Last week somebody clocked me as hard as he could, and he was wearing a chunky ring. So I look and feel like somebody who was clocked in the face by a guy wearing a ring. I was hoping maybe it had gotten better. You can see that in this dark little hallway? Where exactly are we anyway?" Nina chuckled " this part of the 5th floor is where we store all the old stuff because there is a big moving elevator that accesses the street. So furniture comes over here and gets taken out once a week. But these cubbies have been here for a while and it's near the washroom that nobody uses so when I need to breathe I come here. See, I have anxiety Madam Secretary and I got this junior copy editing job for reports and things that you guys send down here. I check spelling and grammar and the way the text looks before we send it to print. We photocopy a lot of stuff and we print some reports here. I am really detail oriented but I have a weird system- apparently. I take the bus here but I am

the daughter of some working class folks from the east side so it's a long commute. I haven't saved up a lot of money yet and I was never a fashionista at school. I don't like to show my body off and I get teased for looking like me. Even here. Guys here are pigs. Guys everywhere are pigs! Elizabeth snorted. As chatty as Nina was, she was warm and sweet and nice to talk too. _This is the first friendly conversation that hasn't been about me in a week! she mused. Oh _crap. "Nina what time is it?" It's about 830 am Ma'am. I have been here since 7 - it's a rough day. They were freaking out about finding you and at once both women went wide eyed. "Shit" said Elizabeth. "Listen Nina, give me a few days and if I haven't been fired by POTUS or murdered by my dear husband for worrying him to bits, please call my assistant Blake and tell him to schedule you in for a coffee. I would love to learn more about you and see what we can do for a working girl who takes the bus from the East side and has to bear Russell Jackson. My eldest is interning for him and he is a beast but I know he adores her. Never let him make you cry again. If he but your head off this morning it's probably my fault. Now I have to go make Ted's day and like I said. Call Blake soon OK? Unless I get fired. Then I'll be looking for a job and I might need your help.

...

By 10 am she had been hugged by Henry and she had agreed that they would _discuss _this later. He had stayed while some nurse had checked her vitals and she knew that by staying at work she was infuriating her husband. Her staff was speaking to her but she knew she had exasperated and frightened them to no end. Blake had grudgingly found her a muffin and a lukewarm cup of coffee which she ate and drank without revealing how unhappy she was that it was oatmeal raisin and some sort of bitter end of the pot. She had called home and been scolded by 3 children. Russell had glared and yowled but she was expecting that. After telling Nina not to cry when Russell turned purple meant she would be a hypocrite if she cried when he turned purple. Conrad had quietly assured her that things were all right but he had insisted that Kinsey come in and talk to her this morning; and he advised her to take a vacation after today's press conference. "I insist Bess. You are taking a full 7 days starting tonight. I don't want to see you until next Tuesday." Then he had hugged her. Ted had advised her that for the foreseeable future he would be handling her security personally and that meant personal escorts everywhere including the 7th floor. Arrangements had been made and Blake was now setting up a station for security right outside her office and near the elevator. _Yup Lizzie. They didn't make you write on the blackboard and that's about all_ she huffed. But she ruefully admitted she was glad she still had a job, and she hoped Henry was going to take her someplace nice for a few days and not just set her up at home with reality TV and Ted at the kitchen table. _Hell he already grounded me for life and that was before this morning. I can't make this up to him in a hundred lifetimes so I better just grovel. I can do that. I am a decent groveller when I need to be. _She resisted the urge to call him while he was still steaming out of his ears. She wanted to cry, but that thought made her think about Nina for a minute and she wondered if she had imagined that bizarre encounter. She made a note to check on the young woman and to ask Blake ever so nicely to schedule that coffee for about 2 weeks from now. _Maybe by then Blake will_

_have forgiven me and I'll get the yummy muffins and coffee again. _She sighed, being in somebody's doghouse was often a part of the job. Being in every body's doghouse at the same time - that was a new low. She decided to hide in her office and buckle down for a few hours in the hopes that she could take her mind off things.

She read her emails, signed some paperwork and then looked over the remarks that Matt-the-speechwriter-not-her jailer had written. Then she met with Kinsey for 45 minutes. Finally around 1 pm her rumbling stomach coupled with her desire for a new outfit because this one was now wrinkled, dusty and slightly sweaty drove her to the outer office and the break room. Blake took pity on her and soon a nice rich chicken stew with biscuits was on her desk, a fresh coffee was brewing and Alison had been instructed to bring a new outfit and some toiletries to the office. Ted escorted her to the elevator where she went down to the gym and was handed off to Linda who stood outside the gym showers while Elizabeth cleaned up. In her gym robe and shower shoes she was returned to her office where she was greeted by her middle child who hugged her tightly and tearfully helped her mother dress up for the press conference. Outfit number two was nicer than outfit number one, but Elizabeth couldn't articulate that properly and she was not going to piss anyone else off today. She did stand up for herself when Ali wanted to change her earrings but thankfully the teen recognized that the earrings were special. She sat obediently as her daughter gave her an elegant updo and applied a light natural looking makeup, careful to leave the left eye untouched. She knew it still hurt and that her mom was going to show the world what assault could look like.

Finally some heels in a nice dove grey and Alison was done. Elizabeth startled as she heard a whistle and she turned to see her husband, looking much more relaxed than he had a few hours ago. He smiled at Elizabeth and Alison. "Noodle you are definitely going to do well at Bayard." The girl

flushed at her father's praise and she was pleased when Elizabeth hugged her. "Thank you baby." I feel so much better. Alison spoke frankly "Mom you are gorgeous, and when you wear the right colours and don't hide your body under all those office clothes you could be a model."

She guffawed "Oh no! I am happy to play dress up for a few special occasions. I am all limbs and I need pockets and much prefer jeans and sneakers." Alison sighed and turned to pick up her supplies Sensing a moment, Elizabeth sidled up to Henry and bravely asked him if his presence this afternoon meant she was forgiven for her morning misadventure. He tenderly touched her sore cheek, and then kissed her lightly. "You scared the hell out of me this morning Mrs. McCord but I'm aware that you didn't do any of it on purpose. You just have the propensity to find the situations that develop into life threatening circumstances. So I am just going to focus on how much I love you right now, and be grateful that you have more lives than a cat. I know we all reamed you out this morning and I think Ted and the oatmeal raisin muffin is more than enough punishment for your sins. She laughed. "I love you so much Professor, I know I don't deserve you but I like it when you get all rational with me. Even if it means I am on the shit list. Is Ted going to scuba dive with us? "Nice try Madam Secretary, but no dice. You get suspended by the President for a week and you expect to go scuba diving?" She sighed and leaned into him. "Conrad said it was a much needed rest." She pouted, but her heart felt lighter. Henry had forgiven her. Blake has forgiven her and Alison had too, or she would be wearing something that made her look like the worst dressed champion of the world. Alison rolled her eyes. "God I am going to text Stevie and Jason and tell them to stop worrying about both of you. Yes dad we worry about you. You practically had an aneurysm when we heard about Mom this morning." Elizabeth frowned at Henry and furrowed her brow. She slapped him in the chest "Busted Mr. McCord. I told you years ago that I would be a pain in your ass until we were living in a nursing home. You need to trust me when I am in trouble. I am a resourceful gal." Henry rolled his eyes at her and then he pretended to make a swatting motion at Alison " Noodle you should never rat out the guy who makes you pancakes on your birthday." Alison laughed." Next year my friends and I are going to Cancun to celebrate spring break so I won't need pancakes on my birthday." Smugly she sauntered away and Elizabeth again swatted Henry on the chest. "You need to deal with that Henry. I missed her 16th and I was focused on the stupid Singapore Interchange for her 17th. Next year I was gonna take her to New York. Break the Elizabeth travels in March and gets herself killed tradition." He snorted and tapped her chin "so you admit it. You do risk your life!" She groaned " hey that was unfair. I protest. I confessed under duress of Empty nest syndrome." He kissed her again. "If you don't go back to your office right now and work on your press conference notes Alison is going to have to buy you another outfit." She kissed him back "I thought this was new but I wasn't sure. I really like it." He patted her ass. "You don't wear pink and grey very often. It doesn't make you look weak. You look stunning. And powerful. Babe go set the world on fire before I make Ted quit his job." She took a deep breath. "I am scared Henry." He looked at her with pride. "You never admit that you know, you are going to be fine." "But what if I pass out or I lose my voice?" He felt for her. She had been through a hell of a week and he did have a surprise planned for her but he couldn't blow it now. "If that happens I will give your speech for you. Protocol be damned." She gave him a tearful smile. "I am so glad you are on my side Hank." She turned on her heel and walked away. He felt a tear slipping down his cheek. _Go do big things Elizabeth McCord. _

_..._

By 5pm Elizabeth had found her second wind. Or perhaps it was the caffeine coupled with the B12 shot the doctor had given her that morning. She and her staff had reviewed her remarks and everyone was aware that she would be inserting some free associations of her own. Matt Mahoney has grown used to this over the last 3 years, and at first it had bothered him to no end. However, in coming to understand how she worked, and how capable a speaker she was; he had developed a good working relationship with her. Cameras were due to start rolling at 630 pm, right after the 6pm news.

"Ma'am I just have to say, that you are going to rock this speech tonight. I am glad you've been so hard on me the last few years. I am a better writer because you pushed me so hard." Elizabeth ducked her head. "You took the push and ran with it. I respected that. I am thankful to have you Matt."

He smiled. "My mom tells me I work for one of the greatest role models of our time. I asked her if she meant female. My mom is a devout Muslim from

Pakistan and she said 'no'. She clarified that you are just a stellar leader and that men and women have a lot to learn from you." Matt was serious "my mom is always right ma'am." He backed out of her office, and he bumped into Jay who had Chloe with him.

Chloe Whitman ran straight to the Secretary and was rewarded with a huge swinging pick up. Elizabeth breathed in the little girls' sweet scent "Hi Auntie Beth!" Chloe then frowned. "boo boo". She patted Elizabeth's bruise. Jay swooped in "Sorry Ma'am, she's become very observant lately. Did she hurt you?" Elizabeth put the little girl down on the floor and addressed Jay. "Thank you for bringing her in here. She's all the medicine I need right now." Jay grinned broadly "She is pretty amazing! I am heading home - Abby has a late meeting. So I went down to diplotots and she asked about Auntie Beth. So here we are." Elizabeth was touched "Jay you two just lifted my mood." She walked over to her desk where she pulled out the colouring book and crayons she kept there for her youngest staffer. She hugged Chloe and thanked her for the visit. Chloe reached up and said "Can I kiss it? Make it all better? You fall down?" Elizabeth let Chloe kiss her cheek and she said "it's almost all better baby. Yes Auntie Beth fell." Tiny blue eyes stared into large clear ones "you look pwitty Auntie." Elizabeth rubbed noses with the sweet little girl, who giggled. Then Elizabeth stood and spoke to Jay "despite my scaring you all to pieces today- everyone seems to be doing their best to make me feel like the most cherished person in DC. So I do thank you for that. Are you ready to head things up for a week? Supposedly I am not even allowed to look at my cell phone after 8pm tonight." Jay looked her straight in the eye. "I've got it Ma'am. You've taught me well. Cushing and Nadine are here, and you need a break. A real one. Not because you are a woman but because you are a human who has been through a lot of stress in the past few years, and has had no time to really deal with any of it. I don't think a week away is enough but I understand why that feels like an eternity."

Elizabeth tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "Well then, Mr. Whitman, I will go deliver my briefing and then I'll see you in a week. Come visit me again soon Chloe." The little girl slid the crayons and book back into the drawer and she took her father's hand. "Bye Bye!" she chirped. Elizabeth waved back and sighed. She sat at her desk for 5 minutes and looked over her notes. She then made a quick trip to the washroom, washed her hands, applied a fresh coat of lipstick and grabbed a bottle of water. Ted has gone home so it was Frank who walked her to the Press Room where Daisy was waiting.

"Ma'am, its time to introduce you."

Elizabeth nodded, looked quickly at the grey fitted dress she was wearing, and the rose coloured blouse that fit beneath it. She fiddled with her ring and took a deep breath. Then she stepped up to the dais.

...

.


	9. Chapter9

I would be better at grammar and spelling if I could do this on word and have time to re read my work- and knowing that- from now on my stories should be better prepared and not written by the seat of my pants to publish once a week. So please enjoy this and know that I have the utmost respect for your writing and the time it takes. One week until our beloved show is back. Please review. It makes me feel like someone likes my prose

...Brenda

The podium gave Elizabeth a place to set her water bottle, and she saw that Daisy had laid out her remarks. Truth be told she didn't think she would need them unless she froze. She knew what she had to say. She was also well aware that millions of eyes were on her - and her sweet husband and dear staff accounted for very few people. _It's showtime! _She took a breath and swept the press with a gaze, judging her parameters. _Good _a lot of women, and thankfully also, a lot of men. She could see Henry off to the side and surprisingly Isabelle, whom she hadn't spoken to in a while. Isabelle gave her a thumbs up and a smile. _Is that my surprise? _She wondered. She saw and heard the gasps and remembered what her face looked like. Well, Andrada deserved what he was about to get. She suspected he might be watching and she expected to have to deal with fallout until she arrived home.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the Press, I am here this evening to address the stories in the news, the rumours and baseless accusations that I, my family and my staff have been listening to for about 6 days now. Last Monday I flew to the Philippines to meet with President Datu Andrada regarding establishing rapport so that the US and the Philippines could both participate in the talks for the Singapore Interchange. I went to the Palace in Manila and met with the President in his private conference room. We had tea, and he offered me some beautiful fresh fruit. I had my assistant with me as well as a small contingent of DS agents. After about 15 minutes of talks, the President started to get very close to me. I backed away and used my hands to indicate that he was encroaching on my personal space. He didn't listen and when I walked away in order to procure a file from my folio he groped me. I was surprised, violated and exceptionally frightened. I did what I had been trained on instinct to do; that is I turned and punched at him with all my might. I connected with his nose. He was injured and I strongly believe that I broke his nose. It certainly injured my hand. He backed away for a second and I grabbed for my folio and was prepared to walk away. He grabbed me again, whirled me around and backhanded me across the face. He was wearing a wedding ring and some other culturally significant piece on his finger. He then held me up and smashed his fist into my lip. I fell, and he began growling at me, threatening me and he ripped at my skirt and proceeded to use his hands to touch me sexually. It took me a minute to find my voice and scream for help. It took a minute to be heard and for my assistant and my DS Matt to enter the room and secure my safety. "

She could hear gasps and expletives from her audience. She looked at Henry and Isabelle and courage faltered for a moment. But she gripped the podium and continued. Thankfully I was not raped but I was ejected from the Philippines and I flew home immediately. President Andrada contacted the news as well as our President; and accused me of assaulting him, said he had to push me to defend himself. Some of you may be thinking- he said she said - right? Well, thanks to a source in the palace I received today a video that corroborates my version of events 100 percent. She turned and Daisy revealed a screen, and a video began to play that depicted exactly what Elizabeth said. She had been flabbergasted when after her makeover by Alison and her moment with Henry, she had received this video. It was grainy, but it was obvious. Perhaps Andrade himself had installed the camera, and forgotten about it. Elizabeth suspected she might never know. For a minute she had considered telling Henry but she had decided that to maximize the video's effectiveness, only Conrad, Blake and Daisy needed to know. Briefly, she glanced at her husband and she could see the shock on his face. However when he caught her eye, he nodded and Elizabeth knew he understood. Taking a breath, she continued

"Until this moment, only a few people have seen this footage. I kept it quiet this afternoon because

I am not here to play a game. I am here to address how violence against women can be such a big part of every woman's life. I am 4th in line for the presidency of the United States and in fact spent a day last year in that role. So imagine what happens to women in every corner of the Globe when someone affronts their personal space, attacks them and demands sexual gratification, or uses violence to control their thoughts and actions.

It's humiliating, it's painful, it's terrifying and you feel like a wrung out dishrag. It causes your emotions to react in ways no single person on earth should ever experience. Powerless, dirty shame. Fear for your life, your safety, and terror that if you do not accept this violence - that your family, friends, coworkers and reputation will be harmed. I am a married woman and mother. I come from a privileged background and I grew up knowing this was wrong. But I still felt all of these things. I cried and I worried that my husband and those in my circle might judge me. I knew it would make International news. So I have spent most of the last week in my Pajamas, at home, recuperating. But it didn't go so well. I doubted every single action of my entire life. I even suffered from nightmares, and I sometimes lose the ability to speak for a few hours at a time."

There were murmurs now and Elizabeth steeled herself for what she knew would be backlash.

"I hear you up here. I see you, making faces and shaking your head. You think that I am broken. That I can no longer be the Secretary of State. That I should retire or go on the talk show circuit. I will admit I thought about it. My husband and family had no idea what to do for me or with me for most of last week. In fact just this morning I had a panic attack and hid somewhere in this building to protect myself. I am not cured. I will never be cured. But I will recover. And before you judge me - know this. Nearly every woman in this room, every woman you know - that you love, well sadly she has or she will be victimised because she exists. Maybe not as violently as I was, but maybe more so. Maybe it happens every day. Work, school and in her own home, somewhere every woman is seen as a comparison to a man. That narrative needs to change. We women and men need to change it together. We need to teach ourselves to stop using physical power to control one another. We need to make it safe for women to get counselling, to be able to lay charges, and we need to teach our men and boys that this behaviour is not OK and that we in fact are not just looking for better self defence programs, or ways to cope with this problem. We need to eradicate sexual violence.

Now, I am taking a break from my post for about a week. Perhaps 2. Yes, I need to take care of healing my body and my mind. But the President and I have begun putting together an initiative that will look at sexual violence in a completely new light. We will be working on that portfolio as soon as I return. And rest assured, I will return. I will also tell you that while this incident is the most violent of my life, sexual abuse has been a part of my existence for most of my life. It's how I was raised as a woman. How I was taught to dress. How I learned to speak. My self worth was not only tied to my abilities and talents but also to that of who I was dating and how willing I was to be both not a prude, yet not a slut. I have been hearing these terms my whole life, and saying them my whole life and I bet you have too. So I am not here to condemn the past. We all have a responsibility to change our thinking, our language, our standards and our dress codes. This is not a problem that will be solved overnight. It will not be solved by the military, or a drone strike. It will take years. But I am committed to changing my thinking, vocabulary and colour scheme. I invite you to call me out when I am being obtuse. But do it respectfully. I will do the utmost to ensure the US is compliant with these changes for the remainder of my time as Secretary of State, and afterwards. No, before you ask, that is not a statement that I am running for President. But as long as I am breathing, public service is my choice. For as long as America will have me.

The applause was deafening. Elizabeth actually felt proud of herself for a moment and she basked in the glow of her ability to finish her speech.

Henry came up to her and wordlessly pulled her into his arms for a bone crunching hug. He didn't have to say a word. She knew he was proud of her and would continue this journey at her side. She was proud of him for being that kind of man. She said so as soon as he released her. His eyes shone as Isabelle repeated the bone crunching hug and wiped her eyes. "Bess honey, we are so overdue for dinner." Elizabeth laughed and agreed. Russell Jackson came out of nowhere and patted her shoulder. "You know how get a crowd going McCord. You are something else. Now I know where Stevie gets it from. Jiminy Christmas Elizabeth. That speech sounded better than what we spoke about yesterday. I have a message from Conrad. Henry, can you come with us?"

Half an hour later

Conrad handed her a tumbler of scotch. He looked apologetically at Henry. "Bess, you can't go on holidays until the weekend. Henry I hope that's OK with you and the family. Henry nodded "as soon as I saw her at the podium I knew my plans were on hold. I can change the dates. This initiative is going to help my wife heal so sign me up for whatever you need to." Conrad took a look at his protégée. "I think the student has officially surpassed the teacher. I thought this sounded good yesterday. Bess, there is no way I can say this without sounding like an old man, but I have to tell you, Lydia and I are very impressed. My wife is ready to enlist celebrities and university heads. My biographer wants to ditch my project and work with you. And when the time comes, you deserve to be my successor."

Elizabeth sat heavily on the blue couch. "Sir I have no idea what to say to that" she confessed. " He sat across from her. "You've had a hell of a day, and a fuck of a week. And here I am telling you that you can go home for about 8 hours and then you have to come back. But rest is just around the corner and you rise to a challenge better than some Navy Seals I know. Russell is co-ordinating with Nadine and Jay. And we know Blake will eagerly be waiting for you at 7 am with a blueberry muffin or a bear claw." Her mouth was agape and Conrad winked at her. "I noticed what you lived on at CIA. When I vetted Blake I suggested that he could best get on your good side with top quality pastries. Although I did tell him that you would desperately eat the cheap ones and not bat an eyelid." She blushed to the roots of her hair as Henry chuckled. "Every day Conrad? No wonder she's gained 15 lbs in 3 years. Sorry honey but I have heard you moan about your weight. This is hilarious". Elizabeth grinned good naturedly. "Tradecraft in my breakfast? Conrad I should be shocked, but I am not. It's a delicious perk of an otherwise insane job."

...

It was almost 11 pm by the time Elizabeth entered her front foyer. After meeting with Conrad, Russell had come to update them all regarding the numbers he was running. Women of all ages had supported what she had to say, but men between the ages of 35 and 75 were less accepting. It crossed colour and religious lines as well. Minorities and middle class Americans were lining up to "Believe in Bess" but the wealthy, staunch, elites were skeptic all of her motives and her ability to be an effective diplomat. Elizabeth had shrugged at that. She expected those results. As she had said to the room, "I need to reach those people who tuned me out and turned off their TV sets. Those without ears are the ones who need to hear the message the most." The most tone deaf was Andrada himself, and she pointedly did not return his call. _Tomorrow_ she vowed. Conrad and Russell agreed with her. "I'd do it Bess but that's what he wants. To fight with me. You call him on SCVTS tomorrow with your whole staff in the room. Hell, I'll come to you tomorrow. Your office. Me behind you. He'll see that you have the full weight of this office on your side." She nodded and he clasped her hand in his. "One of the best decisions I ever made was to hire you. For CIA and in my cabinet. You get some work done this week, take a break, and then I am going to rely on you to guide us through the rest of our term. And then, if you want it. I will back you for President. I know you can't see it yet, but you are destined for this. Baghdad station was a reach, 3 kids, Henry. But those kids are grown now and I bet that husband of yours is more proud of you than I am. For what it's worth, I know your parents would be amazed by how much you have packed into your life." With that Conrad turned away and left her to collect herself. She had leaned against her husband and choked back a sob. This was truly a watershed sort of a day. She felt overwhelmed but determined to make it. Henry sensed that and he bolstered her up. "You are amazing Babe. Conrad is right." She lifted her head and he could see the weariness in her face. Henry hated the idea that she would have to talk to Andrada, and perhaps one day even see him again. He vowed to make sure she never had to do it alone.

...

She had headed back to State and sent Henry home. He had protested a little, but she promised him that she would indeed be protected and that she would need to cuddle when this day was done and she found her pajamas.

Elizabeth decided not to tease Blake about the morning pastries. She did however make a note to exercise more on her lunch breaks, and to not have 2 of the treats every time she was stressed. Her staff was about to work very hard on this new initiative and Elizabeth was buoyed by the fact that all of them were excited to tackle it. She received too many hugs and handshakes to count and even her DS seemed pleased with her. Not enough to actually give her any privacy, but she knew that was going to take time. She prepared a few things for Tuesday morning and finally headed down to her motorcade. She slept for the 20 minute drive home.

Entering her foyer, she was surrounded by three very proud children, all of whom had stayed up to "watch Mom and then wait for Mom to get home." Henry shooed them away because tomorrow was back to work and school and Jason had snorted, but yawned mid snort -earning him a hair tousling from Stevie.

Henry tenderly led his barefoot wife upstairs and helped her out of the dress, the updo, and her fancy underwear. She allowed it because it had been a long week and she felt tremulously like she could handle it. Henry was kind, gentle and soft and Elizabeth melted into his arms. They kissed hungrily and made love as sweetly as if it were their first night together, only minus the awkwardness that had been a part of getting to know a new body. This night was about reuniting under a new understanding. They each worshipped the other in love and gratitude of a couple who had been through a war and come out the other side victorious but aware of the pain suffered and the loss borne. Lying in bed she snuggled into Henry's arms and he smiled at her. "Babe you amaze me." She chuckled and replied "I did it. I took your love in my heart and I got through today."

"You called me Hank this afternoon" he observed. "That hasn't happened in about 20 years." She shrugged and played with his chest hair. "I was feeling nostalgic. I know your buddies called you that, and when we were a lot younger I sometimes called you that. Today it just felt- well- like it was the right thing to say. You are my Henry. Just as I am Lizzie to my past, Bess to my CIA family and Elizabeth to you." He affectionately twisted a lock of hair behind her ear. "Your cheek and eye are healing. Can I say I will be glad when you look like my wife again and not like Sugar Ray McCord?"

She tensed, and he immediately knew something was wrong. "Elizabeth?" She shifted up onto her elbow and looked at him. "Russell called me that, when I reported what happened to him and Conrad. Before, before I called you. I know he was trying to tease me but I felt like shit in that moment. I thought my entire career, everything I had ever done- had been undone by standing up for myself. I was hurt and bleeding and yet I couldn't be comforted. I had to be rescued by DS and Blake. Then I had to call POTUS and get on a plane and it was only then that I could even begin to process what happened to me. I was sad that it wasn't about me right away. I was humiliated and terrified and I couldn't be those feelings because I might have had to apologize to Andrada. I actually told Conrad that I could grovel. Conrad did not take me up on it. Because Henry I would have done so. And Sugar Ray McCord is what we called Jason when he hit Preston"

Henry couldn't see for the tears in his eyes. "Babe thank you for telling me. Thank you for trusting me enough to share with me. Because I hope you never, ever feel that way again. This morning when Blake called me- I swore I was going to be furious with you for disappearing. I almost lost you in Iraq, I almost lost you in Iran, and I found out about what happened in Algeria. But today I was worried about more than physical danger. Today I saw that no matter how tough you are - that I can't ever take your soul for granted. That's what Andrada tried to take and I learned that who you are is more valuable to me than air. Your voice, your light, your essence got damaged by that asshole and I - well I, just... this bed without you in it. The bathroom with no second toothbrush. The shoes I trip over every day. Elizabeth my life without that is empty. Every time you vanish I just..well my world falls into an abyss. The idea of you in danger just scares me" he admitted.

Elizabeth felt wetness on her face. She felt cherished beyond words. She also gently reminded him that she felt the same when his life was at risk. "You've been Jack Ryan the last couple of years Professor." He swallowed hard, and nodded in agreement. "Let's stop risking our lives sweetheart." Elizabeth hugged Henry tightly and then she promised to be more careful. He knew she meant it, but that misadventure would find her again; it would find both of them again. But for now they were safe. That's all anyone had. Henry snuggled her down into his chest and he kissed her shoulder. "You need sleep Superwoman." She yawned "we both do" and within a few moments they were both fast asleep.

...

6 am came far too quickly for Elizabeth. She stumbled to the shower, and completed the morning routine as best she could. _I was supposed to be on a break today_ she thought as she flosssed. _I wonder where Henry was going to take me- wait a sec, he's just postponed it for a few days. That means we do have plans! _ She decided to let him sleep for now. She'd get through her call with Andrada and start the day - and have lunch with her husband. She called Blake and left a note for Henry.

"Elizabeth McCord" hissed the Filipino President. "You are a trouble maker. You should be removed from your position and locked up. You owe me and my people an apology. Look at what you did to me!" He guestured to his bandaged face. "If your President had any guts he would have you caned in the street!" Elizabeth tamped down her instinct to scream at this man. Instead she took strength from those around her and she spoke firmly " Datu you are so predictable it's embarrassing. You assaulted me last week and the truth is out there. You just threatened me again in front of my staff and my President." She swivelled the angle on her monitor and Andrada paled a little. Elizabeth narrowed her gaze and she spoke with authority. "You deserves that punch in the face and you will be arrested if you travel anywhere the US has jurisdiction for an extradition treaty. Furthermore, my staff has just granted asylum to 7 women who will corroborate not only what I have accused you of; but who will attest to your patterns of abuse against women in your country. So this is what is going to happen. You are going to resign today. You will clear out of that palace and allow Rathi Kinara to take over for you in the interim. President Kinara will have you prosecuted for abuses of power. But you'll get a suspended sentence and you can relocate to your luxury condo where you can live comfortably under house arrest. You will apologize publicly to me and to your people for your horrendous behaviour against women. In exchange, the US won't impose a total shut down of your economy. If you disagree, the Filipino people will suffer, and they will know exactly who to blame for their misfortune." She leaned back in her chair and Conrad spoke. "She's serious Andrada. The McCord memorandum of understanding has just been delivered to your government. Sign it and accept our terms."

Elizabeth smiled sweetly at him " We know it's a lot to process Datu, so we will call you back in an hour." Then she hung up on him. Her staff cheered and Conrad winked at her. "I understand you are meeting Henry for lunch. I'll see you in an hour. And tell Jason that I will play football with him this weekend, but he has to go easy on me!"

...

The sunny park was a beautiful spot to sit and enjoy the warmth of this April day. Henry couldn't take his eyes off of her golden hair and her pink cheeks. She was wearing sunglasses and he could only see the yellowish hue and green streaks of her healing face.

The peanut butter sandwiches were delicious and the lemonade reminded both McCord's that summer was on the horizon. Realizing that Henry wasn't going to say a word about where he was taking her on the weekend meant that she was going to have to bite. "Henry, I am dying over here. Where are we going on the weekend?" He responded by reaching into his coat and tossing a small file at her. She took off the sunglasses and began to examine the paperwork. He smiled as she began to look like it was Christmas morning and she was about 6 years old. "New Mexico? For 6 days? In a cabin near the river? Fishing and horseback riding and hiking!!!"

"Yep" was all he said as he downed the last bite of his sandwich and gulped the end of his lemonade. He stood up. "No kids, just you and me and a rustic cabin, with a claw foot tub, campfires and zero makeup or designer clothes." He ruffled the bow at her neck. "You can wear pigtails and those ratty old sneakers for days. We are going to eat beans, and chilli and corn bread." She jumped up and squealed a little before flinging herself at him. "I love you Henry McCord." He laughed. "I like you OK too." "You must" she countered "or we'd be touring churches in Europe." Henry laughed " that's next year babe. In fact every time you risk your life I am adding a day or touring churches!" She groaned and sat back down on the bench; he joined her and stuffed the file back into his messenger bag. "Stay safe beautiful and we can talk about me learning to scuba dive. Otherwise I am making you sky dive."

She put her sunglasses on and huffed "you drive a hard bargain. Maybe you should be dealing with Andrada today!" He took her hand. "If I could babe, I would. But you are the one to get this done. And I for one trust you to get it done right." She stood, as she saw Matt coming closer to them. " Thank you Henry. For everything. I'll go anywhere with you - except right now because .." he interrupted and gave her a hug "because you are headed back to work. Me too. But Friday night we get out of here. The kids are going to stay with Conrad and Lydia. She is taking the girls shopping and then to a play. Conrad and Harrison are going to go toe to toe with Jason." Elizabeth could feel Matt at her side "I'll be home later!" And then she was gone.

Henry knew one thing for certain. Elizabeth McCord was going to keep on changing the world. No matter how many times she got knocked down, she would rise and face her opponents. Anytime she needed an extra minute to find her footing, he would be there encouraging her get back in the fight.

He looked over at the White House and he knew that someday he would be living there. He also knew that one day he would go scuba diving. Because he loved her, and he knew without a doubt that she loved him.

\- Fin-


End file.
